It’s been almost a year since but I am back!
This past year has been the most critical growing year thus far. 20-12 goes down as a historical year for me!
I have been to India, Thailand, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, and Bangladesh.
Performed in the Vagina Monologues in Bangladesh.
Taught over 12 english classes in one college semester in over 90 degrees weather!
Then came back to NYC and taught a community organizing class and leadership seminar, balanced two jobs in Philly, became committed to several organizations and now completed my first semester of graduate school with five full time classes.
All of the above were part of my plan… my plan of success. I was determined to be the best and achieve the most that was good enough for me and I have/did. I am proud of that but yet when I look back something didn’t feel right for a moment…
About 2 1/2 weeks I woke up one morning with this gut feeling that some fire bomb was coming my way and I wasn’t sure what it was. I just felt this utter sickness in my stomach and I felt I needed to take action. This led me to confide in who I thought was the love of my life… That feeling inside my heart, the one in which I felt something was over and I was at the edge all of the sudden… well.. it was my six year relationship. I don’t think anyone plans for love or plans for love to be over but my six year relationship taught me a lot. I am honored to have learned through my former partner and I am thankful to myself that I was present enough to feel my heart skip a beat for a second because I truly believe I dodged a bullet there. From this life event I have decided to take on a new vision on life – take risks, live in the moment, and don’t turn back. I was so focused on the finish line that I feel as though I lost what I wanted and who I wanted to be. My biggest life lesson of 2012… Every blessing is a disguise. I am now going to take this lesson and make it my energy.
I feel as though I need to stop planning and solely focus on the present. I have never done this before, I am very scared to take the risks but the worst that could happen is really nothing… There will definitely be moments where I will be vulnerable, unsure, and worried but those are all emotions of growth and feelings that I know will make me a better person and that is probably the best gift I could ever allow myself to have.
In order to put my new vision into practice I decided to make a irrational decision (I have absolutely no money) and travel through Europe in eleven days to three different countries: London, Paris, and Spain. I am not sure what to expect in these places but I am tired of being complacent with my daily grind and I want to return to a life filled with randomness, spontaneity, and risk taking.
This post is dedicated to 20-13, for what I believe will be my most driven and compelled year.